Haikus for Rock Stars

by Karen Gsteiger

I. Weezer

rivers sings about

drugs in a blatant manner.

use a metaphor.

II. Depeche Mode

all of life's questions

can be answered by searching

through DM lyrics.

III. The Smiths

the smiths are also

the source of much wisdom, sage

advice, and counsel.


you jumped the shark with

"out of time." but you still have

my admiration.

V. Prince

diminutive pop

star, bonafide musical

genius. props to you!

VI. Gwen Stefani

holy shit, gwen, what

happened to you? your music

sounds like a train wreck.

VII. Gwen Stefani, part II

no, seriously.

"hollaback girl" is the worst

thing i've ever heard.